So, the hot weather has been with us for a week or so now, and my tactics for getting through the day have become almost routine. Some days I hide in the supermarket for an hour or two, lurking among the chiller cabinets getting frostbite from the push rims on my chair (they conduct temperature very quickly).
The only trouble with this plan is that in a short time I am pinned down under an enormous pile of top-shelf food items that over-enthusiastic shoppers have assumed I needed help with.
Other days are spent in the house, staring out of the window and wishing I was wielding a shovel in a garden somewhere. I really miss working outdoors, but doing anything outside in the midday sun is difficult now, as half of me no longer sweats properly anymore and if I get too hot I get a really uncomfortable prickly heat rash that makes me squirm.
A tough push uphill is enough to trigger this response, but it doesn't seem to happen when I am playing tennis or basketball for some reason. Go figure.
Of course, no sooner have I complained about the hot weather when the heavens open, and tomorrow's toddler birthday party in the park begins to look like a foolish idea.
We are frantically putting together the various bits and pieces to entertain eight under fives whacked out on icing and no doubt trying to find wildlife/people to pull the legs off. I'm hoping we can harness the destructive energy with some non-violent games. Either that or construct a giant hamster wheel and hook them up to the national grid. I wonder what the carbon footprint is for icing-based energy production. Is it a bio-fuel? And does one have to factor in the child's methane production, because if it's anything like her dad's we'll be planting trees for years to come.
We are planning to have pin the tail on the donkey,but as we will be in the middle of the park it's going to be tough finding something to attach the donkey to. I can see a game of 'pin the tails on the wheelchair tyres' followed by a game of 'drag the grumpy cripple back to the car park.'
Reading this back, I feel like I should be the Wikipedia entry for curmudgeonly. I'm sure our beloved three-year-old will be smiling all day tomorrow. I know I will. Probably choking back a few tears,too. They grow up so fast, don't they?
The only trouble with this plan is that in a short time I am pinned down under an enormous pile of top-shelf food items that over-enthusiastic shoppers have assumed I needed help with.
Other days are spent in the house, staring out of the window and wishing I was wielding a shovel in a garden somewhere. I really miss working outdoors, but doing anything outside in the midday sun is difficult now, as half of me no longer sweats properly anymore and if I get too hot I get a really uncomfortable prickly heat rash that makes me squirm.
A tough push uphill is enough to trigger this response, but it doesn't seem to happen when I am playing tennis or basketball for some reason. Go figure.
Of course, no sooner have I complained about the hot weather when the heavens open, and tomorrow's toddler birthday party in the park begins to look like a foolish idea.
We are frantically putting together the various bits and pieces to entertain eight under fives whacked out on icing and no doubt trying to find wildlife/people to pull the legs off. I'm hoping we can harness the destructive energy with some non-violent games. Either that or construct a giant hamster wheel and hook them up to the national grid. I wonder what the carbon footprint is for icing-based energy production. Is it a bio-fuel? And does one have to factor in the child's methane production, because if it's anything like her dad's we'll be planting trees for years to come.
We are planning to have pin the tail on the donkey,but as we will be in the middle of the park it's going to be tough finding something to attach the donkey to. I can see a game of 'pin the tails on the wheelchair tyres' followed by a game of 'drag the grumpy cripple back to the car park.'
Reading this back, I feel like I should be the Wikipedia entry for curmudgeonly. I'm sure our beloved three-year-old will be smiling all day tomorrow. I know I will. Probably choking back a few tears,too. They grow up so fast, don't they?
Please keep writing, Tim! You are a very humorous man, even when attacked by your nemesis.
I have multiple sclerosis, so perhaps will eventually be 'looking up' like you. I've got your book (courtesy of Amazon) and have read it, sometimes doubled up with laughter. I appreciate that nothing short of some very clever people doing amazing things with stem cells will ever provide me with an effective treatment or cure, but you are a real tonic.
I luckily had my two daughters while I could still run after them. Now at 16 and 20, they are used to running around after me and are very independent.
I shall save any rants for later - believe me, I have plenty!
Looking forward to your next epic - is there one in the pipeline, or do R and P keep you too busy?
Angie xx